Okay I please listen to what I have to say I’m really confused so a while a go I was masturbating with an egg and when I was just about to orgasm, my vagina just like… Sucked it up. It was like a vacuum. Not just any regular vacuum, my vagina is a dyson.
Anyway, I was so scared that I spent the rest of the night trying to queef that egg out but it wouldn’t come out. So the next day I was playing basketball during gym when the egg fell out into my underwear. I didn’t take it out because I didn’t want people thinking I was growing a penis or something. When I got home I took it out and the effin egg had hard boiled! My vag is a vacuum AND a pot of boiling water! It hard boiled an egg! I’m not done!
So I didn’t know what else to do so I put the egg in the fridge and a couple hours later my dad was eating an egg salad sandwich! He then started gagging and coughing.
Should I tell my daddy?